He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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