she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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