apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
