and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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