i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
