But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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