Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
