Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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