I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
