so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just had sex on a roof
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
