What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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