The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
