Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
