Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
