You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
