Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Randomize
