There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
