Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just invented taco cereal.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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