i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
