i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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