wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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