How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Houston, we have a squirter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
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