Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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