she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
