I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize