u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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