Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
