how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
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She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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