Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
