pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
