i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
