I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
