I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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