No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
