I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
