I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
