grandma shit on top of the toilet
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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