I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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