i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
