Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
