And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
