Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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