No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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