you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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