yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
