And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
