That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
