...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
