plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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