just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
only if we run a train.
done.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
