can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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