I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize