You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There are leaves in my underwear?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
