I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
