The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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