Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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