She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My ass is underappreciated
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
