i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
