So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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