scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
