Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
