she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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