Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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